“Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. ÉThose early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that’s what they mean by Thanksgiving.”
– A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving by Charles M. Schulz
Written By: Kym Byrnes
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 39 million families pack up and travel to spend Thanksgiving with friends and family. Once they arrive at their destination, Americans feast on approximately 51 million Thanksgiving turkeys and down 50 million pumpkin pies. And yet, it is often the camaraderie that unfolds after the turkey has been carved and the last piece of pie lapped off the plate that lifts this holiday to one of people’s favorites.
For Finksburg resident Mike Fenlon, the Thanksgiving laughs come with an after-dinner game of charades, a tradition started by his dad’s parents.
“All of my aunts and uncles love telling the stories of my grandfather playing charades,” Mike said. “He wouldn’t actually act anything out, he would just act silly and then wave his hand like Ôcome on’ as if people were getting close.”
“It’s fun to see my dad carry on that tradition by acting like his father when playing. The little ones love it,” Mike said.
And there are plenty of little ones to entertain at the Fenlon gatherings. With 16 grandchildren in the family, Mike said charades is a popular pasttime at all the family gatherings – Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays.
Mike’s wife, Shelly, said that the tradition is important because it forces everyone, young and old, to engage and connect, and the games always encourage laughter.
“Our charades games are meaningful because it is an activity that brings us all together without distraction and gets us laughing, and that is where the memories are made,” Shelly said. “I think it will give the kids a framework for bringing their own families together in future years in a very simple, fundamental, but meaning way.”
Mike and Shelly, who are raising five children ranging in age from 8 months to 16 years old, agree that building connections can be challenging in a big family. Playing charades at family events helps to naturally build those connections.
“The fact that it’s the kids who get the games going now just shows that it fills a basic need to connect with each other in our otherwise very busy lives,” Shelly said. “When you find something that works for everyone all at once, you go with it.”
For Westminster resident Heather Peterman, losing her dad four years ago forced her to change her Thanksgiving Day plans. The change has evolved into a tradition that Heather and her 8-year-old daughter Kiele now look forward to.
Heather said that after her father passed away, the thought of having Thanksgiving dinner at home like she always did was just too sad.
“Thanksgiving was my dad’s holiday,” Heather said. “He enjoyed cooking the turkey and watching the parade with us. So for us this is a holiday where there is much sadness in our family.”
So Heather decided to head east, about as east as one can go in Maryland. She packed up her daughter and joined her sister and her mom in Ocean City. They stayed at a close friend’s house and after eating their Thanksgiving meal, they went to see the Christmas lights display on 125th Street.
“We had such a blast and it just immediately cheered us up, so we decided that we’d go back every year,” Heather said. “My dad loved Christmas lights and driving around to look at the decorated houses, so being able to do it as a family on his holiday just brings us that much closer to his memory and makes our hearts happy again.”
For Heather, the tradition is about finding peace where there is sadness. But she said it’s also important for her to ensure her daughter is growing up with traditions that are both meaningful and lasting.
“Kiele has lost a lot in her life from her grandfather to her own father,” Heather said. “So it is up to me to help her remember the things that she was too young to remember, help her to know how it was and how it is going to be and hope that one day she can share these traditions and memories with her children.”
Hampstead resident Michelle Morrison, a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Michelle Morrison and Associates counseling services, said traditions are important in helping families connect and bond, especially in today’s digital landscape.
“We live in a society now where technology is a great connector but it can also become a great disconnector,” Morrison said. “People are at home and lot of the time may not be interacting with each other because they are on a tech device or social media, so they are together but not socializing.”
The value of Thanksgiving traditions, both eating a meal together and whatever comes before and after, is the opportunity to interact with those closest to us, according to Morrison.
“Rituals do a lot for families,” Morrison said. “They help families to bond, to create time for connecting and spontaneous conversation, which can reveal to people of a younger generation the things the family values. Traditions help a family create a sense of identity or in some cases, a sense of community.”
For Westminster resident Robin Kable’s family, the Thanksgiving competition, er, fun, begins with a morning football game. Not a Baltimore Ravens football game, not a big stadium, not on television. The Kable’s join friends and neighbors for the annual “Turkey Bowl” – a touch football game for all ages at King’s Park in Westminster.
“I realized how important this tradition is to my children the year I suggested going on vacation for Thanksgiving,” Kable said. “The family thought it was a great idea; however, we couldn’t possibly miss the Turkey Bowl.”
The neighborhood football tradition began decades ago, in the early 1970s, when John Kable, now Robin’s husband, and his friends would get together while home from college for Thanksgiving break. They would go out the night before Thanksgiving and then play football Thanksgiving morning in an effort to recover from the previous night’s fun.
“I believe the participants really like the tradition,” Robin said. “We have families that will delay their family Thanksgiving trip just to play in the Turkey Bowl.”
For many families, Thanksgiving includes spending time with immediate family. For the Kable family, Thanksgiving means spending time with a much larger group of long time friends.
“We look forward to seeing our friends – some of whom we only see once a year,” Robin said. “We have watched our children’s friends that have moved away come back year after year for the Turkey Bowl. It is heartwarming to see how many young people make an effort to attend each year.”
Robin said her adult children have taken over the planning and execution of the Turkey Bowl. Robin and John still assist with the preparing of the official after Turkey Bowl breakfast and the questionable referee calls, “and some of us brave souls still play,” she said.
“I think that we all enjoy an activity that is multi-generational where everyone participates and has fun,” Robin said.
