Written By Patricia Bianca
There is no such thing as the Bogeyman,” our parents assured us. As children, we frolicked freely in wide open fields until the sun began its descent, and we heard the familiar call of Mom hailing us for dinner.
For our children, there are no such idyllic worlds. Spurred on by lurid stories and images on the nightly news, we guard our children and drill them about all the dangers present in the world. Parents now find themselves in a balancing act between protecting their children and scaring them silly. It is not easy.
“I have trouble with the balance,” said Erin Ostendorf-Snell. Erin is the wife of a local pastor and mother of two very small children. “I want her to be cautious,” she said of her cheerful three-year-old daughter, “but at the same time, I don’t want her to be afraid of people in general. It’s a fine line to walk, I think.”
Erin’s friend, Kym Thorpe, herself the mother of a young girl and two teen-aged boys, agreed, “I think now there’s a really fine line between common sense and paranoia. It’s sometimes hard to know which side to step on, but I’d rather err on the side of caution.”
Erin and Kym both belong to the Taneytown Mom’s Club, one of a network of clubs throughout the country that provide companionship and support to at-home moms and their children. The group regularly meets for play dates with their children at local parks and other venues that are held confidential. Kym, who acts as coordinator for the group, stated, “As Mom’s Club, we’re definitely aware at the playground who is coming and who to watch for. One of our policies with the Mom’s Club is to not advertise where we are going to be.”
With more than 18 registered child sex offenders living in close proximity to Taneytown’s playgrounds, according to recent listings by the Maryland Sex Offender Registry, the cautious approach of the Mom’s Club would seem wise. But just how pervasive is the problem of child predators and what are the major dangers to our children?
According to a U.S. Department of Justice Study released in 2002, more than 797,500 children under the age of 18 were reported missing in a one-year period of time. Of that number, 58,200 were the victims of non-family abductions. Only 115 of those children, however, were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnappings, where the child is taken by someone he doesn’t know or knows only slightly and is murdered or held for ransom.
Carla Tippie Proudfoot, Director of the Maryland Center for Missing Children, is well aware of the statistics and dislikes the term “stranger danger,” which has become a slogan in campaigns to make children wary of potential predators.
“Most often the child has some knowledge of their abductor,” she said. “They belong in the neighborhood. They work in the neighborhood. They’ve seen the child, and once a small child meets someone, they’re not a stranger anymore.”
Such crimes may not be occurring in massive numbers, but when they do occur, the results are often horrific. According to Proudfoot and a plethora of statistics, the children involved in non-family abductions are most often taken within a few miles of their homes, and their bodies are found within a 50-mile radius of their houses. More often than not, it is simply a crime of opportunity.
Two such cases led to the formation of the Maryland Center for Missing Children, which works closely with the parents of missing children and law enforcement agencies to locate missing kids and provides support to the parents of missing children. It was established in 1985 as part of a national push to create missing children clearinghouses in every state.
Since then, the numbers of children reported missing every year in Maryland has ranged from 12,000 to 16,000, with the vast majority of those numbers representing runaways and parental abductions.
Runaways are a particular concern for Proudfoot, not only because of the high numbers of children running away, but also because of the amount of times they run and the fact that they are at great risk of becoming victims of serious crimes themselves.
“Every time they run away,” she said, “they go farther and stay away longer, until eventually, they don’t come back.”
But abductions and murders aren’t the only crimes parents must guard against. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reports that approximately one in seven youths will receive a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet, and that one in five girls and one in ten boys will be sexually victimized before adulthood. The typical age range of these kids runs from 11 to 17.
Apparently, child predators have become much more technologically advanced in their search for victims, leading to the establishment of Computer Crimes task forces throughout the nation.
The Carroll County Sheriff’s Department has its own Computer Crimes Unit, which works closely with the Maryland State Police Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force and others to keep our kids safe online.
Sgt. Brad Brown of the Carroll County Sheriff’s Office Carroll County Advocacy & Investigation Center/Computer Crimes Unit said that instead of lurking on the playground, Internet criminals are now winning their victims’ trust online and arranging meetings in advance. Their efforts are aided by naive children.
“The private information that children are putting about themselves online is mind-boggling,” he said. He sees children who give out the names of their schools, their places of employment, schedules, etc. “This gives any predator more than enough information if they intended to seek out this individual as a target.”
Although some of the more popular social sites, such as MySpace.com, have recently instituted some level of protection for users under the age of 18, such as allowing the user to keep their content private, predators still manage to slip under the wire and, said Sgt. Brown, “Most of the sites I go to aren’t protected. I personally have a site set up with a pretend juvenile and I get solicitations through that. It just amazes me how easily children can be preyed upon if they allow themselves to be.”
Sgt. Brown and his many colleagues throughout the State of Maryland and the nation at large are working very hard to lure predators out from behind their computers so that they may be arrested. But, at least locally, there is little that can be done to punish those who bombard our kids with lurid images and malevolent content on the Internet. Software designed to limit or monitor your child’s online activities is available but not foolproof. Ultimately, it is up to parents to monitor their children’s online activities and educate them about the dangers.
Locally, parents are aided in their mission of educating their kids by the Youth Intervention Officers’ Program presented by the Carroll County Public School System. The program works in conjunction with law enforcement agencies throughout Carroll County and the Maryland State Police to educate our children about issues of personal safety, as well as the dangers of substance abuse. Youth Intervention Officers’ Program classes are taught in grades two, four, six, eight and nine and are closely matched to the needs of each age group.
Maryland State Police Officer Tfc. Dave Keller took a brief break in his duties at North Carroll Middle School to share information about the personal safety DVD used to teach second graders about stranger danger and other relevant topics.
The DVD features an entertaining personality known as “Retro Bill” and makes use of interactive discussions, bright colors and a fun-filled atmosphere to keep the kids’ attention. “When these kids watch it,” said Tfc. Keller, “you can hear a pin drop. They are completely on-task for that one-hour class. It’s phenomenal.”
In between segments, kids get to talk about their concerns and ask questions of Tfc. Keller, who obviously has rapport with them. Keller said that questions often surround recent events, issues of trust, and the children’s idea of what constitutes a “stranger.”
Not surprisingly, the idea of a stranger often elicits a portrait of a man with long hair, earrings and tattoos. Keller and his colleagues debunk that notion and give the children good guidelines to use when interacting with their environment.
“We don’t want to live completely terrified,” Keller said, “but you do have to be aware of what’s around you.”
As the problem of child predators continues to grow, so do the efforts of law enforcement and other child advocacy organizations, but again, it is ultimately up to parents to learn how to avoid the dangers and drive the message home.
Resources for parental education are readily available online. Websites established by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the Maryland State Police and others provide statistics, information and tips for keeping your kids safe and talking to your kids about danger. Other websites offer parents the ability to track dangerous criminals living and working in their neighborhoods.
As for walking the line between scaring our children and giving them the information they need:
“I always felt better safe than sorry,” said Proudfoot, who is a mom herself, “If you don’t say anything to children or try to teach them about their own safety and something happens, you will be kicking yourself for the rest of your life.”
