Have ‘Sweet Sixteen’ Parties Gotten Out of Hand?

Written By Patricia Bianca

Everything old is new again, isn’t that the old adage? Of course, with each generation come variations on the rites of passage. And why shouldn’t the Sweet 16 party – the kind celebrating the sentiments expressed in Neil Sedaka’s 1961 “Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen” – follow suit?

But this is the materialistic millennium. This is the wired generation, the teens who can’t live without iPods, text messaging and the most elaborate vehicles that mommy and daddy’s money can buy. Naturally, these kids would embrace any opportunity to show off the “bling” and reap lots of presents. Enter the era of ostentatious Sweet 16s.

Rented castles, helicoptered arrivals, A-list celebrity entertainment and budgets upwards of $200,000 – no, not speculation of a trend about to explode – this is one of MTV’s latest reality television shows. “My Super Sweet 16” has become one of the network’s most highly rated odes to teenage obnoxiousness, in which teens spend beaucoup bucks on their birthdays and coerce their beleaguered parents into spending even more.

The moniker, “reality television,” aside, do these insanely expensive celebrations reflect what is going on in the rest of the world? Or more specifically, in Carroll County?

That depends. Certainly, there are people with means out there who enjoy showing it off, especially if it means putting a smile on the faces of their “little girls.” But just how many parents can afford to rent a herd of elephants to amuse their children?

Special Events Magazine, a publication for the catering industry, notes that New York and Los Angeles seem to be hubs for these over-the-top parties because of their proximity to the celebrity world. Elsewhere, catering concerns see less than 1 percent of their business coming from Sweet 16 parties. The magazine’s writers even suggest that the wild events are being over-hyped by the media.

Locally, however, Carroll County’s caterers, event planners and banquet halls are seeing a rise in inquiries, which seem to be tied into the popularity of what has been labeled by many as “television’s worst reality show.”

“It certainly has put the thought in a lot of kids’ heads,” said Tom Yockel, General Manager of Martin’s Westminster banquet hall. “We haven’t had them come in on white elephants, however. It’s not like the reality show. It’s more real world – almost like a mini-prom.”

Yockel categorizes most of the Sweet 16 parties at Martin’s as centered around deejay and dancing, with a buffet and lots of frozen drinks (non-alcoholic, of course). He says he sees very little of the teenaged tantrums and other outrageous behavior depicted in the media.

Neither does Claudia Goodman, Events Coordinator at the Bear Creek Golf Club in Westminster. “The group that we had here last year was a super group of kids, all very well-behaved and well-chaperoned. I think they were just having a good time. As far as spoiling is concerned, I didn’t see that at the time.”

One reason for this may be the inclusion of the teen in planning his or her own party, yes; boys are now celebrating the big 1-6, as well. “I haven’t had any of the conflicts [seen in the series],” said Carol Cahall, owner of The Main Event, Inc., a party planning and rental service located in Mt. Airy. “Usually, the girl has very specific ideas of what she wants and what she doesn’t want. The mom is usually a little old-fashioned, but they work that out. That’s why they both come.”

Cahall plans lots of backyard Sweet 16s, some rather lavish, spending up to a few thousand dollars, but local themes tend to focus on favorite colors or activities such as sports or cheerleading, not the “Arabian Nights” events we see on television.

Most of the local banquet halls and event planners I queried are seeing only a modest rise in the number of Sweet 16 parties that add to their bottom line. But some speculate that the parties are being held in local Fire Department halls and backyards to offset the expense of catering.

This appears to be a good guess, according to local teens. Jennifer Strack, a 15 year old from the Taneytown area, has attended four such parties since the beginning of the year and was getting prepared for a fifth as we spoke on the telephone.

“I went to one last weekend at a church hall,” said Jennifer. “One was held outside, so we had a bonfire, and one was at Carroll Sports Center, so we played sports all night.”

Jennifer revealed that the events are attended by friends from school, as well as family. “For the most part they were casual. Some people have more dressy [parties]. I haven’t been to any of those, however.”

The inclusion of family members is cited by many to be an influence on the good behavior exhibited by Carroll County’s teenaged partiers. However, there are always going to be kids who push the limits.

Kimberly Klein, owner of Lasting Impressions DeeJay and Limousine Service of Westminster recalls one lad who tried to smuggle alcohol into one of her limousines by cleverly hiding a bottle in his jacket pocket and running a long straw-like tube from the bottle, up his sleeve to his mouth. “He didn’t expect our driver to be able to smell the liquor,” she laughed. “We’ve had all kinds of creative things happen in the past.”

Fortunately, Klein and staff have the experience to keep things from getting out of hand. Not all local parties have the benefit of professionals to keep things running smoothly, however. One set of parents in Pennsylvania were recently arrested for serving alcohol to minors at their daughter’s Sweet 16 party, and the father of a Sweet 16 in Baltimore was actually murdered by a teenaged guest at his daughter’s party last year.

Apparently, such tragic events are rare in the emergence of the “new” Sweet 16 parties, which are usually well chaperoned and much less lavish than the media would have us believe. Of course, parents do seem to be spending more and more on Sweet 16 parties, with some local vendors citing budgets anywhere from $500 to over $4,000 for the affairs.

Why do they do it? Carol Cahill, owner of The Main Event, Inc., and herself a mom to a Sweet 16 responded: “It is still a milestone. It’s not a coming out party like it used to be, but it is a high mark in their growth and development.” Cahill went a bit more lavish for her own Sweet 16’s party, but she added, “It was still casual, because that’s her style.”

Other local voices speculate the growth in the local Hispanic population, with their own tradition of holding “quinceanera” celebrations for their 15-year-old daughters, as having an influence on the Sweet 16’s popularity.

Sociologists, meanwhile, blame burgeoning materialism and the current political climate of “helping-the-wealthy” and the drive for higher social standing in the community as ample reason for parents to think it is okay to spend so much on their children’s birthday parties.

The teens themselves are also implicated. According to many who cater to the teenaged market, as well as researchers of youth culture, today’s teen is more sophisticated, more demanding and more easily influenced by television and our culture’s growing fascination with celebrity. Just like anyone else, teenagers are searching for their own 15 minutes of fame.

They can easily prepare for it online, too. A multitude of websites are available to put ideas into flighty little heads, including www.sweetsixteenhelp.com, www.sweet16online.com, and www.mysweet16planner.com. All of these websites feature ideas for themes, invitations, dresses, cakes, party favors and, of course, directory listings of vendors to make their Sweet 16 dreams come true.

Based on a quick trek through these websites and a glance at “My Super Sweet 16,” it is evident that cake and soft drinks no longer cut it, even for the least demanding Sweet 16. Many interviewed compared preparations for today’s Sweet 16 party with wedding planning.

Certainly that was the case for Tom Shutt, owner of Olde World Catering in Hampstead, as he remembered the $4,000 Sweet 16 fete he catered last year. That lucky 16 year old was even presented with a brand new car at the elegant affair.

“She was ecstatic,” Shutt said. “The only thing is, how do you top that?!”

We’re betting that wedding planners are working on ideas as you read this.